Residency: Day four

10Jun10

There was a really exciting energy when all of the women came together, very few nerves, just a drive to get on and push through it all. They seemed prepared and just wanted to rehearse and show their performance.

The performance went down really well, the group made it feel really slick, and the audience really seemed to relate to it. We had tea and coffee after the performance, and the other women in the prison spoke really fondly of the performance. One of the women particularly talked about how she felt it were important to let go of some things in her life, something which I was really surprised about, pleasantly surprised. I had felt like that process had become really important to the women who we were working with, and even myself, but I did not consider what the value of the performance would be for an audience, something which I normally have more at the forefront of my mind. Without realising it, I too had become wrapped up in our wee group that we had founded at Cornton Vale.

The Reflection:

The reflection of any process is always important to me, from some of the end discussions in processes is where I have learnt most, or appreciated other’s responses to the process, and when I have been leading a part of a process I feel it is very important to understand how others navigated through it.

It wasn’t until we sat down and discussed it did I even realise what the importance of the three and a half days for our group of women was. One of the group spoke about how she was really struggling with confidence until this, something which quite a few of us couldn’t believe. It was at this point, from other’s responses, that I realised the complexities of the women that were sitting in front of me, not just the prisoners, but my colleagues, myself. I, for the first time ever, appreciated the complexity of a human being, the layers and masks we all wear. It was also here that I realised that I had no let my mask drop for the week, and I am not too sure how I feel about this. The women that were in that room had been brave and generous in sharing things with us, and I was not as generous back with my own experiences. Maybe this is a good thing so that I could truly focus on my role, but with me being so proud of the group, should I have been with them more? Or was it ok to be more on the sidelines, supporting the group, not allowing myself to become too vulnerable, but support them in their journey? I do not believe there is a right answer here, I think it may just relate to individual processes, but I found it interesting to note that I wasn’t as brave as those seven women from the prison, and I have not had the life experiences any of them have had.

Filed under: Uncategorized   |  Leave a Comment